Today didn’t go as planned.

The game plan for today did not include digging a hole for a beloved pet.

It might be cliché to call him a best friend or a family member, but Chewy was very much a part of our family unit.


He was totally easy-going and had a bark for every kind of scenario. We always knew if someone was walking by, delivering mail, on the property, or even if the neighbor had a car in their driveway that he didn’t recognize.

   Chewy was good like that.

He was also massively patient. Time and time again, he would be lured onto the couch by a young gal and was adorned with pretty bows and necklaces.

Understandably, the kids took it really hard. Not only was this their first experience with death, but he’s been around since before they were born. To them he was as permanent a fixture as their parents.

 How will I be able to get up and stop looking under my chair or over my bedside? Chewy was my shadow. He was always by my side or under my feet. He sat with me when I was sick and slept on my feet when we were camping and it was cold.

Something as simple as taking a shower has shifted. The bathroom rug is empty.

Tonight I walked Kiko on a single leash. A single leash. I can’t remember the last time we used a single leash. For the last decade, it was only the double leash. Where one went, so went the other. I even have memories of pushing a double stroller with an infant, a toddler, and that double leash as they walked along with us.

The love we have for this guy is real. My heart aches like it’s been ripped wide open. It was so sudden, so unexpected. So raw. Our little family won’t be the same without him.

Chewy. Just moments before his final sleep.  RIP. 2004-2015

Tonight, I was suppose to start carrying weights on my nightly walks. But it turns out the world is heavy enough today.

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Obstacle Course Racer. Business Owner. Parent and Ordinary Person. Learning to slow down & embrace the wild.

17 thoughts on “Today didn’t go as planned.

  1. Oh, Amber, I’m so sorry for your loss. There is nothing like the love of a dog. Thanks for sharing the pictures of your very special fuzzy faced family member, Chewy. Hugs❤️

  2. So sorry Amber. I am happy though that HE found YOU and was able to be a wonderful part of your special family. My heart also aches for you, Jay, the kids and absolutely Kiko ♡♡♡♡♡ Love you all!!!!!

  3. The only time I’ve really seen my mom cry was when she would talk about our other dog. She didn’t even want a dog when we brought Bear home. They creep up inside your heart and take control of it. Losing one is the hardest thing to deal with. And even more so when there are kiddos. 💜💜💜💜

    Thinking of you guys!


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